For a long time, I thought I needed to have a style.
Something I could define, something that made sense.
But the more I tried to figure it out, the more stressed and disconnected I felt from what I was actually wearing. I just felt uncomfortable.
Getting ready wasn’t fun anymore—it felt more like something I had to get “right.” I looked for inspiration on Pinterest or TikTok, but nothing looked good on me. I felt stressed and uncomfortable in my clothes.
This is where my style journey really began—not by finding my style, but by slowly letting go of the idea that I needed one and had to get it right to make my outfits look great.
And over time, I realized that maybe style isn’t something fixed at all. Maybe it’s something softer, something that changes with me. And maybe fashion is supposed to feel more like freedom and NOT like the most stressful time of the day.
The Pressure to Have “One Style”
It felt like everyone had a clear style—except me…
When I looked up “outfit ideas” or “everyday outfits” on Pinterest, I slowly started to notice that others seemed more “defined” in their style. Everything looked aesthetic, intentional, and consistent. Everyone’s outfits looked so thought-through.
It created pressure to have the perfect outfits.
This pressure often comes from social media like:
- TikTok
- …
All platforms mostly show the aesthetic side of life.
Okay… it looks pretty. And I’m not against social media—I use it all the time too. But it can create pressure when you compare yourself to others.
You may find:
- Curated outfits
- Clear aesthetics
- Repeated visual identities
For example: clean girl aesthetic, minimal, “that girl,” or effortless chic. We all know these trends…
For me, it felt like each aesthetic had a “complete identity,” and you had to choose one of them.
“I need a style like that too.”
“I have to stick with one style—but which one?”
These thoughts were constantly in my head. I felt like I needed to define my style and fit into one direction. The pressure to be consistent and recognizable.
“To have a thing.”
So… I started saving outfit inspo on Pinterest, trying to recreate looks, and adjusting my wardrobe.
I was overthinking my outfits, comparing myself to others, and trying to match a certain image.
At first, it felt inspiring and exciting. But over time, that feeling changed. I became more and more unsure and disconnected from my style.
Yes, the outfit might look good—but if it doesn’t feel natural and truly like you, it’s not the right fit.
It became a constant “looking right vs. feeling right.”
I didn’t fully fit into one aesthetic…
I felt in-between, like I didn’t belong anywhere. Parts of it felt like me—but not all of it.
The more I tried to fit into one style, the more I felt disconnected, unsure, and overwhelmed.
It started to feel less like self-expression and more like trying to keep up.
My Experience (The Struggle)
This wasn’t just an idea—this was me.
I went through a phase where I kept trying to figure it out. And even today, it’s not perfect—but that’s totally okay.
Back then, I thought if I just found my style, everything would feel easier.
I experimented with different aesthetics and tried to “be” different versions of myself.
For example:
- Dressing more minimal
- Trying more “put-together” looks
- Going softer / more feminine / more structured / more Scandinavian
I changed how I styled my outfits, looked for inspiration online, and tried to recreate looks.
Some outfits worked for a week, others just for a moment. Nothing felt stable. So I kept moving from one style to another.
Then I started questioning myself and feeling unsure. I was confused and slightly frustrated.
“Why can’t I just figure this out?”
“Why does it seem so easy for everyone else?”
It looked right—but didn’t feel right.
I looked in the mirror and felt insecure.
I thought maybe I just needed to try harder… or be more consistent…
But the more I tried to define my style, the less it felt like me.
The Turning Point
At some point, I started questioning the whole idea.
It wasn’t one big “aha” moment—it happened slowly.
I let go of the need to define my style. I stopped looking for one fixed version of myself. And over time, the pressure faded.
I realized that style changes—and it’s not meant to stay the same.
With that mindset, everything shifted. My mood, my energy, even my daily life.
Instead of following a style, I started following a feeling.
That included:
- Choosing outfits based on mood
- Not forcing a certain aesthetic
- Allowing different versions of myself
The result:
- Less pressure
- More ease
- More freedom
The feeling: lighter, calmer, more like myself.
Not perfect—just better.
Maybe style isn’t something you define once.
Maybe it’s something that moves with you.
What Style Means to Me Now
The way I see style now is very different. It feels much softer.
Style is a way to express how I feel—not something I have to explain or define.
There are no rules. No expectations. No fixed identity.
I don’t have to follow anything anymore, and there’s no pressure to be consistent.
Style is flexible.
Some days feel softer. Some more structured. And both feel like me.
There’s no label needed. You don’t have to name your style.
You can exist between styles.
I don’t have a specific label either—but if I had to describe it, I’d say:
“Chic but fun.”
I naturally combine classic and elegant pieces with playful and unexpected elements.
For example:
- Simple outfit + small detail
- Structured base + softer layer
A balance between elegance and creativity.
How it feels now:
- Easier
- Lighter
- More aligned
Not perfect—just more aligned.
Style doesn’t need to be serious. It can be something you enjoy.
Fashion Should Be Fun
The more I let go of defining my style, the lighter everything felt.
Getting dressed started to feel different.
Fashion often feels like something you have to get right.
But there is no “right.”
Fashion is not a test.
It’s creativity.
It’s playing, experimenting, trying new things.
- Mixing moods
- Combining styles
- Changing things
It doesn’t have to be perfect.
What you wear today doesn’t define you tomorrow.
The goal:
- Less pressure
- More freedom
- More enjoyment
Fashion becomes something you experience—not something you solve.
Small Style Examples
I started noticing it in small ways.
Take one item—for example, jeans.
- One day: oversized knit (soft, relaxed)
- Another day: blazer (more structured)
Or:
- Cute tops
- Basic tees with cool shoes
Small variations:
- Jewelry
- Layering
- Texture
The outfit might be technically the same—but it feels different.
Start with a clean, minimal, classic base. Then add unexpected or playful elements.
Final Thoughts
If any of this feels familiar…
You don’t need:
- One style
- One aesthetic
- One clear answer
You don’t have to figure it all out.
You’re allowed to:
- Change
- Experiment
- Not know
It just means you’re evolving.
Next time you stand in front of your closet and nothing feels right…
Maybe it’s not a problem.
Maybe it’s just a moment.
A quiet pause between different versions of yourself.
Not confusion.
Not a lack of style.
Just change.
Because style isn’t something you find once and keep forever.
It moves with you.
And maybe you don’t need all the answers right now.
Maybe it’s enough to choose what feels closest—and let the rest come naturally.
Somewhere in between all of that…
you’re finding your way back to yourself.